i need a vacation

no need to ask questions, i know the answer. who hasnt had the feeling of wanting to be somewhere else. not perminantly or temporarly but for the moment somewhere else just sounds nice.

i've be unemployeed for two weeks tomorrow and it is a rather desperate feeling. quite boring actually. i enjoy waking up and walking to the coffee shop to look for jobs but i hate knowing i dont have a pay check coming and I cant make any plans until i get a job.

recently and quite often i feel scattered. its hard for my brain to focus on anything. its not that things are good and bad but i think at this point I would like one extreme or another. im beginning to slip into that place where you dont feel much at all. whether bad or good, its emotions that give meaning to things and make you feel "alive" instead of just "a live." and i guess this is what i want.



there are many things i am waiting for.

-grad school acceptance
-the job at FOX40
-a job in general
-2 interviews in san francisco
-moving into a new place with two rooms
-getting out of my lease

eventually something has to fall in line. one or two of these things have to happen and then the rest of the list will begin to fall into place. waiting sucks. waiting for my coffee, waiting for a job, its the same kind of impatient fustration. but there is not much more one can do but wait.